AS i sat here and made this artistic combination of color and my photo of my eye...i thought about my life...right now it seems like my world is so depressing with a sugar crystal coating...i walk through the hallways smiling from ear to ear like nothings wrong when im actually dying inside...i want a guy that wont cheat thats impossible i want a perfect lil house in suburbia with a mom filled with happiness and greets me everyday after school to tell me how much she loves me and a dad that wants to go out back and throw a football or go to the craziest places and take photos for no reason and when i go to bed my parents step in to let me know they love me and wish me sweet dreams... i want a best friend that is there for me no matter what..... i wanna lil dog that i can hold when im sad or im just angry and its lil bark full of chipper makes me laugh as tears pour down my face.... i want my own theme song when i walk in a room so everyone knows who i am and know im not a wallflower and just blend...i want to have a journal by my bed and know no one will read it other than me and my boyfriend when he sneaks into it to find out what to get me for my birthday..lol i want to feel great when i wake up in the morning and not this feeling like something is holding me back....but actually my real life is ...i dont here i love you from either of my parents ... i dont talk to my mom but i talk to my dad occasionally and when i do my world brightens those few happy moments of seeing my dad smile like he is actually happy to claim as his own...like my perfect world starts to come true but then it gets shut down... i really miss my mom whether she misses me ...its seems like my days are an instant repeat of each other...i go to school come home ...go take pics with alia then play on my adobe and then listen to music and then start to think about my life and cry myself to sleep....but hey time heals all wounds right.?? seems like time is just tearing at my heart as if i have no right to be happy..